My name is Betsy Schow. After many years of being fat and miserable, with a few years of being average and less miserable mixed in, I finally had a light-bulb moment. The reason I was unhappy was not the extra seventy-five pounds around my middle. Rather, it was the weight of all the things unfinished that hung around my neck.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been a dreamer and a schemer. I’d get these grand ideas on how to make my life better. So I’d get excited about this diet or that workout routine. Or try starting a new hobby or project. On multiple occasions that included attempting to write a book. That was all well and good, but unfortunately,within a few weeks the excitement would fade and that little voice would kick in. You know the one I’m talking about. “You’re no good at this. You’ll never keep the weight off. Why are you even bothering?” That little voice had kept me from finishing . . . anything. And every time I quit, each one of those ideas became a stone that piled at my feet. Then my wall of failures would get a little higher, making success that much harder to see or reach.
My adventure started the day I broke the scale and had yet another one of those grand plans to lose weight. Except this time, by complete accident, it went beyond the pounds and snowballed into a year of changing my life and accomplishing seemingly impossible dreams.
One of those dreams was to write a book and share my experiences with others. With a lot of hard work and help, my first book, Finished being Fat, came to life on the page.
Now, one of things I hear most when I’m at signings or speaking to people about my book: “What does ‘Finished Being Fat’ even mean? Just because you’re skinnier now, you can say that? That’s a pretty bold statement.”
The answer is always that my new and improved life has less to do with the shift in number on the scale and more to do with the shift in my state of mind.
I was fat. Huge. Ginormous. Not because of the number embroidered on the tag of my jeans, but because it consumed a large part of my thoughts and day. It very nearly destroyed my marriage. So much of my life revolved around gaining weight, losing weight, BMI, whether I was pretty enough, smaller than my husband’s secretary, or whether I would squish Santa if I sat on his lap. Yes, I was fat.
But so are many others. That size-two gym bunny, staring at herself in the mirror and pinching her nonexistent saddlebag—fat. At least in her own head. Obesity is an epidemic, but so if this unquenchable drive to be better, thinner than the woman standing next to us. Even if that woman is me, looking back from the mirror. I couldn’t see past my own judgments for fear that someone else’s would be even worse.
That’s why I decided that not only was I finished being fat, I was also finished being a failure. Because that is exactly the way I saw myself, from my looks, to my job, to my parenting skills.
The concepts behind Finished Being Fat are much more than preoccupations with outside appearances. How many people worry that they aren’t successful because they are a stay-at-home mom instead of a business professional? How many people devalue themselves as a person of worth because they feel that they are not enough? That they are broken and not worth loving.Those worries and self-doubts can wriggle deep within our souls and infect every part of our existence with feelings of failure.
And that’s why I wrote Finished Being Fat. It’s my story, my quest to change the way I looked at my life and myself. How everything became different when I learned the Philosophy of Finishing, and could give that girl in the mirror a hug and say, “I love you at any size, and you can be anything you want to be.”That is what I want for everyone—male or female, fit or fat—to discover the Philosophy of Finishing and change the way they see themselves and their lives. To gain the tools and the self-confidence to tackle the impossible and find success and peace within their own lives.
Because it’s not about the fat or failure, it’s about the finish.
Finishing changed my life. It continues to change my life. Using The Philosophy of Finishing, I am not only a happier and healthier person, but I’m finally completing all those grand ideas. For me, I know I can finish anything and everything I set out to do.
I am a finisher.
My life is a success.
And everyone else can have the same thing.
Want to talk to Betsy or schedule her for a speaking event? Email her at email@example.com